just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
