Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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