So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
