Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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