I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize