he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
