Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
where am i from again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
