we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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