You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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