another moral hangover. fuck.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
