The maid of honor just puked.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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