Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
