Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
