btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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