I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I cockslap morals
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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