operation harelip BJ is a go
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I supernannyed him into submission
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
