the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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