420 ftw
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
