I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
