Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
