just come out here and I will go home with you...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
