yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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