ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
