Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
