Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
