So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
