I need help removing her.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
