You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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