Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize