Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
