We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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