im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
