call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
