But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
