happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
