we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
