party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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