Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
