there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
