I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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