I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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