But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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