bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize