He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
