If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
