Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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