I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
