Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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