But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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