dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
