Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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