I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
