Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
