arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
