She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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