it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
