look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize